Worst Places to Comedically Spit Take Your Drink

• Fitting room of a bridal gown shop
• Outside in a rain storm (who would know, right?)
• A spit taking intervention
• Nursery ward
• Most sexual positions*
• Poker table with trigger-happy cowboys in the 1800's
• "Peace Talks" Nato deliberation
• The desert (conserve on resources)
• In your Darth Vader Halloween Costume 
• At trial
• Your boss's face
• Your boss' face

*some may disagree and even encourage during.

Acceptable Places to Spit Take:

• Comedy clubs
• Restaurants with peanut shells on the floor
• The break room at a poison control facility
• Wine Tours (discern oaky or berry flavors before doing so) 
• The result show of Next Top Chef
• Your windshield after a coast to coast road trip  
• The breakfast table with anxious, sexually-active women who have big news and missed their periods. (surprise!)

HIGHLY Acceptable Places to Spit Take: 

• At the coffee vending machine in a sanitation plant
• At the family reunion next to your sister's boyfriend moments before he explains how he's "already technically" your brother-in-law.
• Dinner table with the Klumps (let the hilarity ensue!)