New entrees on the menu are farcical. They just rotate the same ingredients and the pasta isn't baked in order to make it look exotic.
And the ads are getting lazier or having a harder time hiding it. I'm convinced this latest load of heart-palpitating, sicilian slop was prepared by a baboon. That or a drunk. It would explain the photo. You have a million dollar marketing team and the dish looks microwaved- upside down- by a sou chef curing his hangover with a greasy, garbage plate- italiano.
But you can take a turd on a plate, drown it in alfredo sauce and our simpleton customers will eat it right up, so long as you throw more syllables on the end of the name. That way, it's harder to learn and gives off that authentic, pseudo-italian feel that confuses so many. Sausage Pastachetti. Rigatonisofamatelli. Chicken FettucineAndreaBocelli.
"Is that a Reese's pieces?"
"Yes, that's what comes in the 'Pasta Fareese'smapiecessofamatelli.' It was listed right next to our Gumdropchetti Beef Giardino that comes with Red Bull."
Hire a better team of crackpots. But in the meantime, I continue expanding my italian tongue. Buona nottesofachetti!
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